Get rid of it with lashings of guilt; here is how:

Slice Xmas pud, dip into sugar to coat it.

Fry in Butter.

Serve with something rich and creamy and boozy. Ah, Brandy butter.

From the Prue Leith “Guilty Secrets” cookery course.

This one was sooo contemporary:

Norman and Punteresque decided it had everything the Bien Pensant are chattering about;

• Eiffel Tower for la belle Frogland’s duplicity
• Mercedes symbol for German industrial hegemony
• Italian Ski Lodge for Crimbo bunga bunga

And all in military grade marshmallow. So Clever! So Now!

(But you wonder where the smell of Old Lady pee comes from. Do non Norman Road caffs have the most genteel street drinkers in Sussex? Answers ona Post Card. Phhhnarr!)

So Not Norman Road.

For Hissy fits, down the hill, right and right again, missing the big wet bit. Look for a big boaty thing.